to sit in darkness

for the love of hope

panic. irrational panic. nothing is okay. i am not okay. i do not want to be here. i do not want to do this anymore.

i can’t cry in public. i cannot lose my shit in public, around all of these people, around these strangers. I just want to get home. And cry. and sleep. I could sleep forever and it would be okay.

I hop on the next bus home with blurried eyes and an equally blurried mind. I wonder what people think. I wonder if anyone can tell I’m not okay, that I might not ever be okay. I wonder how many people hop on busses and think this same thing, i wonder how many people wonder if they’re seen.

i type some letters on the screen and then erase them. several times.
i can’t do
i’m really h
i need hel
I’m really struggling right now. Please pray…

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2015 Top 100 Questions to Ask Your Potential Boyfriend/Girlfriend

raymondarthur's Blog

Dating is all about having fun, but at some point if you do find yourself with someone that you are thinking of maybe having something a little more long term; there are certain topics you should cover. You will save yourself and them a lot of everything if you talk about these things at some point. Again, when that point is will depend on you and what you think the other person is ready to respond to. You may consider making a list and have them answer the ones they are able to answer. It is interesting also, maybe, the questions they can’t or don‘t want to answer. I think this would be a fun exercise either way! 😀 I pulled a list off the net and modified all of the questions; dropped a few and added some. In no particular order:

Okay, I’ve read the list EVERYONE should read…

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11 Tiny Reasons To Wake Up Tomorrow That Make All The Difference

Thought Catalog

Ditty_about_summerDitty_about_summer

1. To pet a dog.

Experience the unadulterated love and adoration that comes with meeting a dog. Find some happiness in knowing that in the moment that you are scratching behind the dog’s ear, you are one of their favorite people on Earth.

2. To find your next favorite song.

Listen to it once from beginning to end with zero distractions. Listen to it again. Keep it to yourself as your own little secret, as your own private joy that no one can take away, then at the exact moment when that song is everything to you, share it with everyone else.

3. To laugh.

For a brief moment at the beginning of any laugh, your troubles flee your mind, and your burdens feel a little less heavy. Live for those brief moments; look forward to the moments that last just a little bit longer.

4. To make someone…

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Read This If Nobody Texted You Good Morning

Thought Catalog

Alexandra E RustAlexandra E Rust

First of all: Good morning, beautiful.

Is it too late to say that? I know you’ve probably been awake a while – likely hours or even all day. I know you may have gone this whole time without hearing it – shrugging back to friends and family who asked you how you’re doing with a non-committal “Fine” because that is what we’re meant to do as humans – answer meaningful questions with arbitrary phrases. I know that you may not be fine. I know you may have had a lacklustre day. And I know that something as incredibly mundane as a “Good morning” text may have made all the difference in the world. It’s okay if that’s the case. It’s okay to sometimes ache for those simple and kind-hearted gestures.

Because the truth is that good morning texts are more than a half-hearted means of communication. They…

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